Over the past few days I have been privy to some varied topics in life. And while all are vastly different, and seem un-relatable, I find myself drawing the same conclusion for them all.
I think it all comes down to a matter of responsibility, and ownership of one’s own behavior. Acceptance for what is, and the role you played to create it. Maturity, and courage, to look at oneself and say “it’s me, I caused this”.
On one hand, you’ve got someone who fails to pay their bills, and then doesn’t understand why the world is so unfair and unwilling to help. Well when did your lack of responsibility become the world’s problem? How is it fair that you now expect everyone else to jump through hoops to correct the mess that you created?
On another hand, you’ve got someone who tries to take the easy way out and avoid dealing with life by numbing the pain with drugs and/or alcohol. But when that all backfires it’s everyone else’s fault. Now it’s “everyone is against me”, “no one cares or understands”, “what about what I’m entitled to for all my sufferings”, and so on. We have all heard it from someone in our lives at one time or another.
And then, on yet another hand, you’ve got the ones who expect the world to coddle and shelter them from the realities of life. Oh sure, let’s keep everything fair in a child’s game so no one loses and everyone feels good about themselves. Yeah, let’s teach the kids who have the ability to excel, and the drive to succeed and win, to hold back. To not be all that they can be to their fullest potential because someone may get their feelings hurt. Let’s teach the kids who tend to struggle more to be ok with mediocrity, and never show them how to work hard for their dreams. I’m sorry, but if you can’t teach your child how to be a good loser in a game, you are setting them up for failure in life.
We all lose, we all fail, we all try and we all see someone do it better, but there are things we do ourselves that are better than some. Sure, we all want our child to be the star, no one wants to see their child disappointed or let down. But if we could teach them early on that it’s ok to be disappointed, it’s ok to not be the best at something, it’s ok to go out there and give your heart to the game, or whatever it may be, and still lose. It’s ok because you tried, you tried when others were too afraid. You tried when someone else was unable to. You tried because it was what you wanted, and in trying, you succeed. Maybe not in the way you had hoped and planned on, but in a way that made you grow as a person, in a way that taught you a lesson. You succeeded in showing yourself that you have the ability to go after whatever your heart desires.
None of us want to face tough times in life, but life is tough. We can’t just give up and hide in a dark, unhealthy place. We can’t just sit there and point the finger of blame at everyone else. We make decisions and choices every single day, sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re bad, and sometimes they’re embarrassing, but they are all a part of our own journey. We need to accept it when we screw up, because WE ALL DO! Myself included, and in my mistakes I have learned many valuable lessons. Maybe we have things we would like to change if we could, but we all know that is not possible. So we accept it, we acknowledge it, and we move on. Apologize for things if you must, and then accept it. Forgive yourself and move on with the lesson learned. Your choices and your actions, while they may have been encouraged and fueled by other factors, were your choices and your actions alone. There are no scapegoats, we have only ourselves to look at.
So there it is, my point, responsibility, ownership of one’s own behavior, acceptance, maturity and courage. All are required for any type of success.
Just remember, we have to lose and we have to fail, it is the only way to truly learn to appreciate success. But from each failure and each loss, we have to pick ourselves up and keep going. Life is hard, it is messy, and it sure as hell isn’t fair. But it is still the most wonderful thing ever.
© Gloria Jones and Life According To G, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Gloria Jones and Life According To G with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.